/ The Garden of Unearthly Delights

Hans: If you don't love me... leave

Firmly stuffed into his hot pants and spangled with sequins, Adelaide’s favorite German has rolled into the Fringe to show his adoptive homeland how it’s done. If You Don't Love Me... Leave is Hans’ tribute to all things Australia, from rock anthems to pristine beaches and homegrown political scandals. Hans adds his own European flavor to this patriotic cabaret – If You Don't Love Me... Leave may be a true blue BBQ, but there’s bratwurst on the grill.

If You Don't Love Me... Leave is very show biz – Hans is the captivating eye of a tornado of costumes, dance routines and pop hits. Huge props to Hans’ band, the Ungrateful Bastards – the group was tight and they didn’t miss a cue. The back up dancers (the Lucky Bitches) also performed commendably and maintained a high level of energy. Hans himself is a natural born performer and his audience couldn’t take their eyes off of him. Particularly impressive moments included a tap dance foray and an off-the-charts keyboard solo. All in all, the musical numbers were very professionally executed – this clearly wasn’t Hans’ first cabaret.

Although the live music was delightful, the absolute highlight of the show was Hans’ snarky ad-libs. Be prepared for a thorough lambasting of any pollies unfortunate enough to have become mired in recent political scandal. However, when Hans has a microphone, no one is safe, honeys. Some of the members of the front row found that out the hard way, much to the amusement of everyone else. Hans was salty, bitchy, and sassy, and the audience couldn’t get enough of his shade.

What If You Don't Love Me... Leave does well is enthusiastic, energetic performance. The show may be camp, catty and a little cross-dressed, but the point isn’t to be transgressive, it’s to be thoroughly entertaining. Hans owns his stage – every vicious quip and dramatic pose reflects the energy that is brought to the show. If you’re into sparkles, light-hearted camp and quality production values, Hans may be your thing. And if you don’t love it … leave.


Melina Butler

Melina Butler

Melina is an Arts grad and a book lover who is chronically afflicted by FOMO and wanted to be a duck when she grew up.

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